- As parents, we learn from our children
Only a young child has the capacity to feel that every day is a new day. Only a child is inspired to run, to play, to give something new to the world every day. As parents, we have a chance to relive our childhood through the experiences of our children.
We can learn to play again, and to appreciate "nature" from the eyes of a child.
Someone who is 70 or 80 years old, may still have the enthusiasm, creativity and inner joy of a child.
In fact, that is our aspiration, isn't it, as Buddhists?
Yet, a teen-ager living on the street, through poor parenting and other negative circumstances, may have no aspiration, no inspiration, no direction in life.
He is like an old man already.
- And lastly, parents become grandparents, and aging parents of adult children.
This, too, is a difficult stage in parenting.
Kahil Gibran, a Lebanese poet, gives the metaphor of a bow and arrow - with parents as the bow, and children as arrows.
Children are arrows, emerging from our homes, but reaching out for their own life.
If we are lucky, when a child grows up, he will give back to his parents. But very often, children do not give back to their parents in just the way we would wish.
They have their own version of reality, tuned to the special focus of their own generation. And also, most of us don't become very interested in old people until we become old ourselves.
As grandparents, we should try to fulfill our needs first, through our own life projects, and from our dynamic relationship with The Dharma.
If we are spiritually and emotionally contented, we are in a position to give good advice and help, when asked.
I like the image of "selfless giving" or unconditional parental love, that takes the form of an apple tree.
The apple tree receives sunshine and rain and nutrients from the soil.
Out of these, the apple tree brings forth beautiful apples, that fall away when they are ripe, to become seeds for new growth. True parental love, to me, means letting go like this.
And, as it is said, when we let go of everything, that which truly belongs to us, returns.
It is particularly inspiring, I think, to witness families who become friends across the generations, and bring forth little children who will grow up to become beautiful human beings.
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