With these basic principles in mind, let's consider the many different roles parents play with their children.

1. The parent is a protector
   First and foremost, we have to make sure our growing children are safe - from traffic, poisonous chemicals in the home, from sharp objects, etc. We make every effort to provide a safe place for our children to grow and play.

2. The parent is a guide
   Parents are in a position to guide their children because parents have more life experience. They have observed how things work, and have learned from making and correcting their own mistakes. Buddhist parental guidance takes the form of recognizing the Diamond-like Buddha-nature in our child. This is their natural "desire to be good", found in the heart of every little child. On recognizing their "Buddha-nature", we do our best to nurture it. The workings of "jinen hori" or "made to become so by itself" are present in all of us. Each person has inner promptings and intuitive awareness that can lead him to become physically and emotionally healthy, and spiritually fulfilled.

   We guide our children, too, by keeping them on a regular schedule of working, eating and sleeping. And, a child's daily routine always needs a period of "quiet time", so that the child learns to be self-reflective, and happy to be alone, as well as being happy with others. The spiritual tendency in children is in-born. He or she naturally loves goodness and beauty and fair play. Therefore, we show our children beautiful things, and reinforce their natural love of harmony. We also tell them children's wisdom stories. These stories, in every culture around the world, are nuggets of wisdom, passed down through the ages, within families.

   As Buddhists, we also try to nurture our child's natural artistic expression, as the manifestation of "made to become so by itself". We show appreciation for his colouring and drawing, his Lego bridges, and his robust song.

3. The parent is a gardener
   I wrote a poem once,

   "Don't raise your kids
   Like bonsai trees.
   Treat them more like
   Vigorously growing vegetables."

   If our kids have the natural, built-in qualities that I have just mentioned, parents can take the role of gardener to them, as if they were young plants. Young plants need sun and water and warmth. Young children need love and attention, and firm limits. In this world, true happiness comes only from giving. And so, as parents, we give love to our children unconditionally, not expecting anything in return. Ideal parental love is pure concern and endless patience. Of course, we can never achieve that goal - and anyway - parents should not try to be perfect. We just know that if a child receives genuine and supportive love from his parents, he will grow up to become emotionally and socially relaxed, throughout his whole life. We connect best with our children, by locating first our own Buddha-nature, deep within. Then we can recognize and support the same Buddha-nature in our child.

4. The parent is a coach
   Olympic athletes, musicians, dancers, and others who set out to achieve a difficult goal, all need a coach. The coach is an experienced, reliable and loyal friend who helps every day, and also helps in times of crisis. The coach loves the vision of excellence that the athlete is striving to achieve. The coach also helps regulate the athlete's daily schedule. And, when the athlete becomes confused or discouraged, the coach is there to give that extra emotional support that helps the athlete stay on his rigorous routine.

   The coach, of course, must embody what he is trying to teach. This happens within daily family life, as the child unconsciously watches our behaviour and intuits our deepest feelings. The sacred purpose of the family is to help each member discover their own inner truth, and to help each become what their inner voice is calling them to become. If we hope for our children to be spiritually fulfilled, we would have to become so, ourselves. A spiritually satisfied person feels enthusiastic about being alive, and is finding ways to use his special talents and gifts, for the benefit of all beings.

5. Parents are role-models
   The child naturally looks up to his parents, and naturally imitates the behaviour he sees around him. It never ceases to amaze me that kids follow their parents' lifestyle and values, whether born in Japan, Papua New Guinea, Inner Mongolia or Texas, U.S.A. Children naturally feel that whatever their parents do is best, so therefore, we must try to behave extremely well in front of our children. So, even if we feel completely powerless to influence the world at a global level, we each have the opportunity to raise healthy and enthusiastic children, who will grow up to become role models for their own generation.